


Call It A Hunch, But I've Got No Clue

by the_overlord



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Birthday, M/M, Mysteries, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Stiles, Presents, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:37:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_overlord/pseuds/the_overlord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles receives an anonymous present at work on his birthday and becomes determined to figure out just who it's from. Unfortunately it turns out to be harder than he ever thought it would be.<br/>A.K.A: Not much work gets done that day, but that's a worthy sacrifice for a happy ending right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call It A Hunch, But I've Got No Clue

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I'd get this posted before 3B crushes what's left of my soul. 
> 
> It's unbetad, probably shit, and has little to no literary flow, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Just imagine the boys in ties and suits, normally does it for me.

The present had already been on his desk when Stiles got into work the morning of his 24th birthday. He’d been sweating slightly, having had to run the few blocks to work after his alarm had malfunctioned, and he’d missed out on his morning caffeine boost, but all that had been forgotten the moment he’d set eyes on the messily wrapped present with its indearingly wonky red bow sitting innocently in the middle of his desk.

He’d wasted no time ripping into the paper, barely containing the happy noises when he found himself pulling out a self-stirring Darth Vader mug from the carnage. There was even an unopened packet of triple A batteries tucked inside the box. The perfect present, especially since Stiles had dropped his Elmo mug the week before and his replacement angry birds one just wasn’t cutting it.

With a grin Stiles rifled through the mess of paper to locate the gift tag he’d eagerly overlooked in his excitement. Pulling it loose from where it had tangled in the ribbon, Stiles peered at the printed letters and frowned.

**To: _Stiles_**

**From: _Happy Birthday_**

Talk about unhelpful.

It was clear that whoever had left him the gift wanted to remain anonymous, and that would be fine, but Stiles really liked the gift, and he wanted to say thank you. He felt bad _not_ saying thank you. And that was just wrong. No one should feel bad on their birthday.

Setting the box carefully on his desk, fingers lingering lovingly against the cardboard, Stiles scooped up the discarded paper and lobbed it at his bin, fist pumping briefly when it bounced in off the rim. Then, ignoring the unfinished paperwork littering his desk, he grabbed a notepad and a pen and slipped out of his cubicle.

* * *

His first stop was Scott who engulfed him in a bear hug as soon as he was close enough, slapped him on the back just a _little_ too hard in his enthusiasm, before thrusting a gift bag in Stiles’ face with a smile. Gingerly, Stiles took the proffered bag, laughing as he pulled out the red hoodie he’d been eyeing up the last time Allison had dragged the boys out shopping. Pulling Scott back into a hug Stiles mentally crossed him off his list before slipping the hoodie on much to Scott’s delight.

Allison disqualified herself too when she appeared beside him and dropped a present onto his lap, watching with bright eyes as he unwrapped a pair of warm woollen gloves, far superior to the ratty, barely warming pair he had been using for the last few years. She pecked him lightly on the cheek as he thanked her profusely before instructing him that Lydia had been looking for him. Knowing from experience that keeping Lydia waiting was incredibly unwise, Stiles bid Allison farewell, tucked the gloves into the pocket of Scott’s hoodie, and paced his way to Lydia’s office.

* * *

Peering in through Lydia’s glass window Stiles could see she was engaged in a phone call, but as she noticed his face pressed against her office, Lydia sighed, spoke a few more conclusive words into her phone and hung up, beckoning Stiles in. As he slid into the seat opposite her desk she pushed a plain white envelope towards him.

‘This is from me and Jackson, though he refused to sign the card.’

Stiles smiled as he ripped into the envelope, making a mental note to thank the other man in the most over the top, not to mention public, way he could think of the next time he saw him. When he opened the brightly coloured birthday card two black rectangles fell out. Picking them up off of his lap Stiles glanced up at Lydia curiously.

‘They’re season passes to the local theatre just off the Green. You always complain that you and your dad don’t spend enough quality time together, now you can have a standing arrangement without out having to drag him to the movies, which, by the way, I know he hates. And some culture will do both of you the world of good-’

She couldn’t even finish her sentence before Stiles was sweeping her into his arms, passes still clutched in his hand. She made a small noise of protest, but ultimately let Stiles squeeze her until he was satisfied he’d gotten his thanks across. He was still in the process when there was the noise of a throat clearing from the doorway and Stiles pulled away hurriedly glancing towards the door. Like always the irrational instinct to cower and blush beneath the intense gaze of Derek Hale reared its ugly head but Stiles fought it, instead smiling at him like he wasn’t incredibly intimidated and equally aroused.

‘Hey Derek.’

His hand came up unbidden to perform some kind of pathetic half wave in the air and Lydia snorted somewhat inelegantly beside him. Derek just inclined his head, something that may have been a smile colouring his face.

‘Stiles.’

A prolonged silence followed, Stiles’ foot tapping out an inconsistent beat on the rug the only sound until Lydia cleared her throat and Derek’s eyes flickered from where they’d been locked on Stiles’ hand, to looking at Lydia. She raised an eyebrow expectantly.

‘Did you want something?’

Derek seemed to shake himself, nodding slightly as he raised the papers in his hand.

‘Er yes. These are those files you asked Greenberg to get you, he left them with me by accident when he went to the dentist yesterday.’

Lydia sighed.

‘I was wondering where those had got to. I swear that boy is trying to singlehandedly destroy this company from the inside out. It’s just as well that he is as poor at that as he is at everything else he tries.’

She took the papers from Derek, clearing space on the desk for them before laying them down. When she turned back she thrust the birthday card Stiles had left there back into his hand before sweeping back a loose curl.

‘Oh, thanks, I would have definitely forgotten that.’

‘It’s your birthday?’

Stiles turned to Derek as he spoke, glancing down at the card in his hand as he did so. Derek’s eyes had also fixed upon the card, almost too much curiosity on his face.

‘Yeah, the big 24.’

‘Oh. Happy birthday then.’

Despite the stiff delivery Stiles beamed, hands flying out around him as the nervousness he always felt around Derek both doubled and floated away.

‘Thanks man, can’t really believe I made it this far you know. My dad says every day I live through is a blessing because I’m so clumsy and nosey, but I think it’s just a blessing I got through high school because my chemistry teacher hated me, and my econ slash lacrosse coach was semi crazy at best. Between that and my sassy mouth,’ he studiously ignored the way Derek’s eyes flicked down to said orifice, ‘I statistically shouldn’t have made it past 14.’

Derek looked slightly taken aback by the time Stiles paused for breath, but after a second he  managed to collect himself and to Stiles’ surprise actually smiled, the contours of his face lighting up.

‘Well then I suppose I should congratulate you too, you’ve made it through some sticky situations it seems. Have you – have you got anything nice so far?’

Stiles could hardly believe Derek was pressing the conversation further, but never one to turn down talking, much less conversing with Derek Hale, office enigma and all round slamming hottie, Stiles started counting off on his fingers.

‘Yeah, totally. My dad is giving me his present tonight at dinner, Scott got me the hoodie I’m wearing, he knew I wanted it. What else? Oh yeah, Allison got me some really warm gloves because my circulation sucks, Lydia-’

‘ _And Jackson_.’ Lydia chipped in as she pulled paperwork towards her.

‘And Jackson got me two season passes to the theatre for me and my dad, oh and-’

‘Ok. Stop. You two need to do this whole conversation elsewhere because I cannot concentrate with motor-mouth there picking his way through the various aspects of his birthday like an over-caffeinated chipmunk.’

Stiles frowned, but moved towards the door anyway, Derek hot on his heels. Just before they were clear of the office she added,

‘Not to mention the fact I’m almost choking on the UST.’

Stiles actually did choke, covering it poorly with a cough as he blushed right up to his ears. As he closed the door behind him he glared through the glass at Lydia, but she simply winked, mouthing ‘Happy Birthday’ somewhat sarcastically, before picking up her desk phone and punching in some numbers. Stiles took it for what it was, a clear dismissal.

He turned back to Derek.

‘What’s UST?’

Face falling slack Stiles sent up a thank you to every divine entity he could think of. With as straight a face as he could manage he shrugged.

‘I think it’s something to do with being unproductive.’

Derek frowned, but thankfully let it go. He opened his mouth, maybe to say something, but Stiles barrelled right over him, conscious only of the blush still brushing the tips of his ears.

‘And she’s probably right. We should go do some work. All play and no work makes Stiles – well it would make Stiles a very happy boy, but also a very poor boy, so we’re not going to entertain that notion now are we. Back to the grindstone for us.’

He punched Derek lightly on the arm, withdrawing with a cringe as he realised what he’d just done. Spinning quickly on his heel and cursing every awkward thing about himself, Stiles sped off to his cubicle, calling out a goodbye over his shoulder as he went.

He heard Derek confusedly echo the sentiment as he rounded the corner.

* * *

After clueing Scott in on the whole ‘mysterious gift’ thing neither of them had gotten much done. Scott had dragged Allison into Stiles cubicle with him and they’d ended up sitting cramped up against each other on the floor, eating the chocolate Isaac had awkwardly pressed into his hands before stalking off, and speculating.

‘What about Janice on the fifth floor, they don’t have to be in this office to have access to your cubicle.’

‘Scott she’s 50 years old, she is _not_ my secret admirer. Or secret birthday gift giver.’

‘Yeah, but she also smiles at you in the elevator every day and brings you your mail sometimes.’

Stiles sighed.

‘That’s because I feed her cat when she goes to visit her sister in Portland, _not_ because she is harbouring secret feelings for me. Plus I’m pretty sure she’s hooking up with Roger in accounting because I found a picture of them looking pretty cosy on the beach last time I fed Craig.’

Scott nodded.

‘Ok. So not Janice. Also who names their cat _Craig_?’

‘I think it’s a dignified name.’

Scott squinted incredulously at his girlfriend but she just ran a hand through his hair and he quietened down. Stiles smiled

‘She dresses him up in little suits too. He hates the shorts but he has a strange obsession with the bow ties.’

Scott buried his face in Allison’s shoulder and she grinned, continuing to run her hands through his hair even as she mouthed the word ‘pictures’ to Stiles.

He nodded.

‘Hey, what about Erica? You two geek out over Star Wars all the time and she was there when you through your little hissy fit over Elmo’s demise so she’d know about that need.’

Stiles scratched at his chin consideringly.

‘It’s true she was there for my meltdown – she made a point of laughing in my face about it later that day – but most people in the office witnessed that particular humiliation. She does have the Star Wars edge though, that’s true. She doesn’t strike me as an anonymous gifter though, she’s way too scary/ sexy for that.’

Both Scott and Allison hummed in agreement.

‘It’s a shame, scary/ sexy is very much your type isn’t it.’

Scott’s shiteating grin softened slightly.

‘Hey, maybe it’s _him_.’

Stiles didn’t feel particularly bad about laughing outright in Scott’s face.

‘Yeah, Derek Hale left me an anonymous Star Wars mug on my desk because he somehow knew it was my birthday and decided he wanted to give me a present to commemorate my birth. How many flaws would you say were in that sentence? I’ll break it down for you Scotty boy. Firstly, why would Derek Hale want to commemorate _my_ birth? Before today I didn’t think he was even _aware_ of my birth. Which brings us to point two. My conversation with the man in question earlier today revealed not only that he’s endearingly dense when it comes to internet acronyms, but also that he had no prior knowledge that today was my birthday. Which means, ruling out time travel – which I do as a general rule in life – master hot stuff Hale is not my secret admirer and therefore remains my unrequited crush for another soul crushing year of my life.’

Scott opened his mouth but no words came out. Shutting it again he placed a comforting hand on Stiles’ knee and popped another chocolate into his mouth. Allison clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and spread her arms.

‘Ok, so it’s not me, not Scott, not Lydia, Jackson, Isaac, Erica, Derek or Janice. Is anyone actually left that you’ve ever talked to? What about Greenburg?’

Stiles shook his head

‘Left for the dentist at lunch yesterday, hasn’t been in since.’

Allison groaned.

‘Well I have no idea who it is then. And I’m starving and while this is some pretty nice chocolate from Isaac, I’m not sure it’s doing the trick. So how about me and Scott treat you to birthday lunch and we change the topic? Hm?’

With a reluctant nod Stiles brushed the chocolate off his shirt and let Scott pull him to his feet.

* * *

After that nothing much happened. The mystery remained mysterious, the suspect pool remained tapped out.

It wasn’t until a week later that things finally dropped into place.

Having grown tired of staring at the unopened box on his desk Stiles had finally broken and ripped into the packaging. Tossing the angry birds mug into the bin he picked up his new one and wandered to the annex, intent on making the best cup of coffee known to man. Only the best for the most confusing present he’d ever received.

As the water boiled Erica stalked into the kitchen, bending provocatively as she reached into the fridge to pull out a smoothie. She leant back against the counter to watch Stiles, popping the cap and taking a long swig from the bottle. As the kettle boiled and he pulled the Star Wars mug towards him, tipping in the instant granuals.

‘He’s going to kill you, you know.’

Taking care not to scald himself, Stiles turned a quizzical eye on Erica.

‘What?’

She took another sip, eyes boring into his.

‘Derek. He’s very possessive you know.’

She winked as she said it, lips curving up dangerously.

‘He’s not going to take kindly to you using his mug.’

Though it had not left his sight from his cubicle to the break room Stiles still found himself inspecting his mug just to check it was his. When he concluded that it undoubtedly was, he turned back to Erica.

‘ _His_ mug? I’m not using Derek’s mug. This is mine.’

‘Pshhh, yeah. Pull the other one Stilinski. I was there when he bought it last week. I find it highly suspect that you have the exact same one a week later even ignoring the fact that you are the biggest Star Wars geek this side of the conventions.’

Looking down at the mug in his hands, self-stirring the coffee to perfection, Stiles tuned Erica out. So Derek had bought the exact same mug last week. And last week the mug had mysteriously turned up on Stiles’ desk. Anonymously. His jaw dropped.

‘Holy shit, Scott was right.’

Erica snorted behind him.

‘McCall? Since when has he ever been right? He once told me he thought the saying was ‘paws for thought’ because animals make you think better.’

She shook her head, downing the rest of her smoothie as she did so before lobbing it with disturbing accuracy at the bin.

‘He was right. Derek _is_ the super secret surprise gift giver. Which means he totally lied about not knowing it was my birthday. Which means he really wanted to throw me off. Which means… well I don’t know what that means but, it means _something_ right?’

‘Super secret surprise gift giver?’

‘ _Yes_. Super secret surprise gift giver. The question is, _why?_ ’

He scrunched his eyes up, staring down at the little whirlpool in the middle of his coffee as he considered the new information.

‘Hmm, why indeed?’

Before he could even begin to analyse the strangely smug tone to Erica’s comment she was sashaying out of the room with a laugh.

His coffee went cold before he’d even begun to process the situation.

* * *

Derek was having a perfectly productive day before Erica deigned to let herself into his workspace. It wasn’t that he didn’t want the company – far too many people avoided him for that to be the case – but the shark-like grin taking over her face was slightly off putting. He knew it meant his life was about to get worse.

‘What did you do?’

Her grin widened, his stomach dropped.

‘Nothing much.’

 She twirled a strand of hair round her finger as she tapped her pursed lips innocently. She _almost_ pulled the look off.

‘Well, except for having a _very_ revealing conversation with lover boy in the break room. But I don’t think that counts.’

Derek was on his feet before he even knew what his plan was.

‘What did you say to him?’

‘I was just commenting on his new mug. Pretty fancy. I knew I’d seen it somewhere before though. So I asked.’

Derek’s face flushed before paling slightly. He ran a hand over his face anxiously but he could help asking.

‘He’s using it?’

Erica’s smile softened unbidden.

‘Yeah, looked pretty happy with it too.’

Derek cleared his throat, tiny smile slipping off his face as he shuffled some papers on his desk.

‘Good. I’m glad.’

She huffed, hands on her hips.

‘No, you’re _repressed,_ but that’s a story for another day. Especially as I can hear the flurried footsteps of hurricane Stilinski heading our way.’

Whipping open the door Erica stepped aside just in time for Stiles to enter, patting him on the shoulder before leaning in to whisper something. With one last significant glance towards Derek she shimmied out of the room, catching a passing Boyd by the arm and dragging him off in the other direction.

The office drifted into silence as the weighted door swung shut.

‘So…’

Derek lifted his eyes from where they’d been fixed on the menu from the Chinese down the road he’d grabbed in his hurry. He let it fall from his hand, aware it wasn’t convincing anyone he was busy.

‘I guess I owe you a thank you?’

Still wary, Derek remained silent, deigning only to shrug like it was no big deal. Like his chest wasn’t constricting.

Stiles ran a hand through his hair. Derek swallowed thickly.

‘What I don’t get however, is why you didn’t tell me it was from you? It’s a pretty awesome present, did you think I wouldn’t like it or something?’

He gazed imploringly at Derek, wide brown eyes visibly confused.

‘I guess it was something like that.’

He stole himself a little.

‘Maybe I was worried you wouldn’t like where it came from?’

He wasn’t sure how to take the look of startled incredulous confusion that slipped onto Stiles face.

‘Like the shop it’s from? Who do you think I am? I’m not _Lydia_.’

‘No. The _person_ it came from. That maybe you would think I was taking liberties or something.’

The startled confusion disappeared from Stiles face but the incredulity remained as he frowned at Derek.

‘You thought I’d have a problem with it coming from you?’

A nod from Derek had him pressing on with an eye roll.

‘Are you an idiot?’

This time Derek just cocked an eyebrow and Stiles deflated slightly.

‘Dude, I don’t care if it came from you. In fact, I care _more_ that it came from you if that makes any sense. And it’s not just because I’ve finally solved the mystery of the anonymous birthday present that has been plaguing most of my waking moments over the last week. It’s because this means somewhere inside, probably very deeply buried, you give at least half a damn about me and I’m pretty sure that’s the coolest thing that’s happened to me this year.’

‘It’s not-’

‘Please don’t try to deny it. Just give me this one. I’m not trying to make this anything more than it is. It’s a mug, not a declaration of intent. I’m not delusional. I just want to thank you because it was a really nice thing you did for me. A really awesome present. That’s all.’

He turned to leave, tossing a lazy smile and a wave over his shoulder but Derek stopped him, words rising unbidden to fill the silence.

‘Do it.’

‘Do what?’

‘Make this more that it is.’

It was awful. A real hashed job at a pathetic last ditch pick-up line but Stiles turned back, eyes wide.

‘You mean..?’

Derek glued his eyes to the blank white wall to his left, fists clenched to stop them shaking. He was pretty self aware. He’d never been good at things like this. Things that involved people he liked. He swallowed, the bitter taste of bile burning his throat as he tried to croak out words.

‘Yeah, I mean you might as well. We both know I’m too chicken shit to do anything. I’ve already shown that much. I mean, I’ve liked you for _months_ and I couldn’t even work up the courage to sign my name on a gift tag.’

He flinched back reflexively as he saw something coming at his face out of the corner of his eye and he made to exclaim, but the next minute his hands were secured on Stiles’ waist, the wind had been knocked out of his chest, and his lips were otherwise occupied. He pulled back to suck in a deep breath, hand coming up to cradle Stiles’ beaming face. He couldn’t help but let his own face split into a grin as Stiles swayed forward in his arms.

‘I was going to tell you it was me.’

‘What, on your death bed?’

Derek laughed, resting his forehead against Stiles’ and letting his eyes slip closed. He sighed as fingers fiddled with the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

‘So, my man of mystery, you got anymore secrets?’

Smiling somewhat wickedly Derek pulled back so he could steal another kiss.

‘Actually, if we’re coming clean…’

Derek pressed the words into Stiles lips.

‘I do know what UST stands for.’

Stiles sprung back looking affronted.

‘Are you serious? That was so embarrassing for me and you knew. I’m going to kill Lydia. I’m going to kill _you_.’

Derek laughed, a low gruff sound that sent shivers up Stiles’ back, and dragged him back to his chest.

‘Well I apologise. _Profusely_. How about I make it up to you with dinner? Tonight? After work? See what I can do to distract you from your murder spree.’

Derek actually seemed nervous, like there was still a chance Stiles would laugh in his face and walk out so he dropped the pretence of being upset, and slid his hands back round Derek’s neck relishing the fact that it looked like this would be something he could do on a regular basis.

‘That sounds _absolutely_ perfect. You see, I’ve been pretty chicken shit too. The way I see it, we have a lot of lost time to make up for.’

‘I honestly can’t wait.’

**Author's Note:**

> I know, rushed ending. I rewrote it 4 times and believe it or not this was the best one. Shocking right!?
> 
> Anyway, if you want me on Tumblr I'm here:  
> http://livingwithlycanthropy.tumblr.com/  
> (still haven't worked out how to make it a hyperlink on this site. Once again technology wins.)
> 
> Come chat about anything and everything, and thanks again for taking the time to read my stuff. It means more to me than I can possibly convey here.


End file.
